We say more with our body language than we did with words often betraying our feelings. The interpretation of these universal cues enhances more effective communication; be it between friends, romance, or among employees. Here’s what to notice.
Eye Contact Patterns
Lengthy eye contact (3 or more seconds) interspersed with brief pauses are signs of interest or attraction, and enlarged pupils enhance this subconsciously. The fidgeting eyes or looking at the floor are indicators of unease, lying, or bashfulness. The eye contact with raised eyebrows demonstrates interest; the narrowing of eyes is an indication of distrust.
Posture and Proximity
Bending forward is an indication of openness and curiosity. The barrier is created by crossed arms or angled-away bodies and it is an indication of defensiveness. The subconscious rapport is created by imitating you as you cross your legs. Intrusion into personal space (less than 18 inches) suggests intimacy, intentional distance ensures limits.
Facial Micro-Expressions
True smiles wrinkle eyes (Duchenne smile); polite ones remain on the mouth. The nervousness shows when one bites his lip or tongue-on-cheek. Wrinkled brows are an indication of confusion or worry; brief-flying eyebrow wrinkles are a sign of recognition.
Touch and Gestures
Unintentional touches on arm or shoulder signify satisfaction and desire. Playing with jewelry, fidgeting with hair, betrays anxiety. Open palms are sincere; concealed hands imply the withholding.
Vocal Cues Pairing
Emotional investment is seen in a higher pitch and lighter around an individual of interest. The rapidity of speech demonstrates excitement or nervousness; it is monotone and indicates lack of interest.
Context Is Everything
Isolated gestures are worth little–isolation, readings which are false. Identify clusters: Leaning in + eye contact + mirroring = perhaps positive feelings most likely. Crossed arms + less eye contact + pointing of foot = disengagement.
Ethical Application
Desecrate–respect privacy. Assure by inquiry: You appear to be occupied–all well? Positive relationships are built on transparency and not conjectures. The distance between cultures matters: In West, eye contact is polite and in Asia, it is disrespect.
Practice Tips
Video conferencing with friends; pattern analysis. Self-record conversations. Cafes are people watchers in a disinterested fashion. Such books as What every body is saying enrich the skills.
Unspoken truths are enlightened by silent signals. Take note, speak freely–affiliation comes with cognition.
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